"strong relationships, careers, organizations, and communities all draw from the same source of power--the ability to talk openly about high-stakes, emotional, controversial topics. You don't have to choose between being honest and being effective. You don't have to choose between candor and your career."
"At the core of every successful conversation lies the free flow of relevant information."
"people who are skilled at dialogue do their best to ensure that all ideas find their way into the open...as individuals are exposed to more accurate and relevant information, they make better choices."
"As the conversation unfolds...pay attention to what's happening to your objectives. Are you starting to change your goals to save face, avoid embarrassment, be right, or punish others? ...Our motives usually change without any conscious thought on our part.
What do I really want for myself?
What do I really want for others?
What do I really want for the relationship?
How would I behave if I really wanted these results?"
"In order for this person to be able to deliver the delicate message, you must have believed he or she cared about you, or about your goals and objectives. That means you trusted his or her purposes so you were willing to listen to some pretty tough feedback."